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Schmidt thought sending over tropical drinks might trigger Nick’s inner grump and summon a bitter response along the lines of “Grampa didn’t get a face full of Japanese bullets just so you could drink a melted popsicle! ” Winston had a grander plan in mind — steal a bear from the zoo, shoot it up with hep C, and release it in the restaurant. You must then deactivate your account and start a new life in China.These days modeling contracts have been replaced by self-proclaimed Instagram bios, which not so subtly imply titles like “fitness model,” “fashion connoisseur,” “lingerie model” and so on.

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Before the date could begin, though, Nick had to consult his boys.

At which point Cece noted Jess was still clutching her own boob. It’s like the Wild West: No laws, whiskey for a nickel, whores caked in mud… ” A one-sided conversation with Nick’s silent mentor proved more enlightening — and certainly more entertaining — than Jess and Cece’s exchange as Nick mulled things over and admitted he needed to grow up; in Nick’s world that means doing things like “mow a lawn…

in dark socks.” But the hands-down best line came when Nick asked, “What would you do?

A perfect example is Jen Selter:“Butt” who cares, right? You have been on two dates with the potential new lover, and you think he’s alright.

You actually don’t even know if you like him yet, but hey, it’s the holidays and it sure would suck to spend them alone.

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