Kissing toads and other hazards of dating
Will I be able to hold both loves at the same time? What I do know is right now we have T-ball practice. ” He drops the bat and throws all of his tiny force into a sprint, rounding first, then second and third, reaching home. Amid reassurances that I was beautiful, my mom also invited me to start race-walking with her through our hilly neighborhood.
Thaddeus and I walk a few blocks to the recreation field. I didn’t lose much weight from those regular walks with my mom, and it was my family’s support and something within me that made me overcome the bullying.
Lowering myself onto the couch, I stared at the coffee table in silence. When I found out I was pregnant, my sister had said, “This is the best and longest companion you’ll probably have.” The way she blurted it out, like it wasn’t coming from her but from somewhere else we couldn’t possibly imagine, and why she was saying that a tiny bean of a something growing inside me was going to be a better person than my husband didn’t make an ounce of sense. He runs another lap, pumping his arms, his stump and his natural hand blurry with speed. Find her on Twitter @thecatcampbell by Alysa Salzberg Most people who know me well know that I love to walk.
Will I ever fall in love beyond the love and commitment I have for my son? I’m not athletic, and am sort of morally against most activities that cause me to sweat. When I was in middle school, I was bullied for being chubby.
Thaddeus practices holding a cup between his stub and his good arm. “Plain and simple.” After a few rebounds who I thought I might want to love, I went on to date the sure cases of quick implosion. I remember how, after Thaddeus’ diagnosis, his father and I held our hands together in the ultrasound office, scooting closer, studying each other’s palms and fingerprints for the first time. On the weeks when Thaddeus is at his father’s house, I sit on my back stoop alone, overlooking the garden, watching the cardinals burrow themselves into sunflower heads. Handsome and funny, he bought me a beer before a Red Sox game and he fed me oysters afterward.
We made it almost ten months, but when he said he loved me, I couldn’t say it back. He’s different, a condition that can never be fixed. ” asked the Water Park Designer, as I was in the middle of dumping him on the front porch after a few intense months.
When I had told him I had a kid, he said that was great, but his own father was an asshole and he wasn’t gonna be dad material…ever. In the world of single motherhood, there isn’t a lot of time for relationships.
At one point, we started talking about Thaddeus’s disability, what teenage life might be for him.
I tried to spin the positive as I always had, going on and on about prom and guitar lessons and driving the car. “None of us can know exactly what Thaddeus is going through. No matter how close you are to him, you’re not him. I stand on the pitcher’s mound, and for a moment I wonder what it would be like to see a third person in this field, someone on the horizon, holding the plastic ball in their hands, and what it would be like if I could wave that man infield, my arm moving in a way that already felt warm and familiar, gesturing for him to come closer.