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With a new sense of liberation we walk around the main Vitality Oasis lake.
There's just enough light to read a newspaper by, but most of us doze on the contoured beds.
We're then dumped from a height – still screaming – into a bath-like pond.
My wife utters a string of expletives that translates as: "I never want to go on another slide again." I sense the mood calls for gentler pursuits.
In a warm, beery haze, our winter worries peel away. With 25 wellness areas ranging from a Finnish log cabin to a citrus-scented hammam, it's the world's largest sauna complex.
Loungers in the Alhambra dry sauna are evenly spaced out around a central circle.